Since early in the Aughts (or Aughties if you prefer; I like both), I've been a paid subscriber to the TopFive List, a humor e-mail that goes out to thousands of people every weekday. It's only $12 a year to support quality comedy, so I gladly pony up the coin.

One of the perks of subscribing is being able to submit entries once a month in hopes of making it onto the TopFive list. Through luck, guile, or possibly wit, I've been fortunate enough to make the main list five times on four topics. I've also had a number of items make the Runners Up and Honorable Mention lists.

So that you may enjoy my appearances on the TopFive list in their natural environment (and avoid any copyright infringement), each link will take you to the TopFive site archives, where you'll see the complete list for that day.

Winning Entries

Top 18 Attempts to Tighten Security at Los Alamos - 8/14/00 - #3

Top 17 Things Heard at a Magic Convention - 10/17/00 - #1

Top 15 New US Army Weapons for 2001 - 2/16/01 - #5 & 11

Top 16 Signs Ken Has Reached Middle Age - 4/4/01 - #4

Runners Up Entries

Signs You're Watching a Bad Documentary - 2/2/2000 - two entries

Signs Your Co-worker is Not a Team Player - 3/20/2000

Signs You're Watching a Bad Horror Movie - 09/19/00

Signs It's Time for Your Rock Band to Retire - 05/29/01

Honorable Mention Entries

Signs You're Watching a Bad Horror Movie - 09/19/00

Things Heard at a Magic Convention - 10/17/00

Signs You Won't Be Selected for the Astronaut Program - 03/01/01

Signs Ken Has Reached Middle Age - 04/04/01

Signs It's Time for Your Rock Band to Retire - 05/29/01