Monday, December 22, 2003

For the first time since I added it to the front page, and just in time for Christmas travel, my Sesame Street-themed Terror Alert Level indicator has risen from Bert, or elevated risk, to Ernie, high risk.

Here's hoping as few folks as possible have to spend time standing in airports with their arms raised and shoes off over the next few days.

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My mom is recovering nicely from a bout of laryngitis. I didn't even know she'd been sick, so I was surprised to hear barely audible croaking rather than her normal melodic speaking voice when I called her a couple nights ago to consult on gift choices for other family members.

She was at the worst stage that night, full blown laryngitis. We've spoken two or three times since then, and she's rapidly moved through what I like to call the Celebrity Stages of Laryngitis©, a blogworthy little invention of mine I hadn't thought to share here until now.

Please note that while the performers listed are women, I apply this list to all genders.

The stages are:

1. no voice, barely audible
2. Brenda Vaccaro
3. Suzanne Pleshette
4. Debra Winger
5. normal

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Another celebrity-related item I've been meaning to mention: it amuses me immensely that the two biggest home improvement chains in the US, Lowe's and Home Depot, are currently using the most influential men in Superman's life to do the voice-overs on their commercials. Lowe's is repped by criminal mastermind Lex Luthor. Home Depot uses the infinitely less threatening Jonathan Kent.

Who should you trust in this battle of the Superman cast members? I guess it depends what you're looking to do with your home. If you want dependable products built to withstand the often violent weather in America's heartland, trust Pa Kent and Home Depot. If, on the other hand, your aim is to reinforce a secret, possibly underground lair and stock it with weapons capable to taking down a Kryptonian, Lowe's and Lex are the way to go.

Posted @ 11:26 AM

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